Sorting out Salvation

As I sit in my home pondering the things I've just read, I can't help but feel conflicted. I've just read a set of articles debating Calvinism and Arminianism. I am conflicted because even though I consider myself an Arminian, there are parts of both sides that I both disagree with and agree with. I will start with Calvinism because it is first int he articles that I've just finished reading. For those that do not know, Calvinism is usually defined using the T.U.L.I.P. pneumonic. These components are total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, irresistible grace, and perseverance of the saints.
As far as total depravity is concerned, I absolutely agree. Unconditional election in the Calvinist sense I do not agree with, as it says that God has only chosen certain people to be saved. I do believe however that election does exist, but refers to election to ministry at the least, and at the most to election of a chosen group of people. Limited atonement I absolutely disagree with because this says that Jesus sacrifice was only for the people God elected to be saved and not for the entire world as scripture repeatedly states. Irresistible grace is a gray area for me because I truly believe that God desires all to be saved and my own personal experiences have shown me that there can be no other explanation than a God who loves us. However, there are those that resist God's love no matter what happens in their life and therefore I cannot in good conscience endorse the view of irresistible grace. I will save perseverance of the saints for a little bit later.
As far as Arminianism goes, I wholeheartedly believe that we are given free will by our creator. I believe that God loves all people and that He empowers people to accept or reject His gift of grace through His son. However, I do not believe in the final component of Arminianism (which I didn't know was a component until this very night) which is conditional security. This is why I decided to save perseverance of the saints for a little (very little it seems) later in this writing. I believe that scripture teaches us about a security that is eternal, and not about a salvation that we must continually work at to keep from losing. Grace is a gift! What kind of gift can this truly be, if it is plucked from our hands if we do not fulfill certain requirements? The gospel of John plainly lays out eternal security in chapter 10 where we are told by Jesus that "[he] give[s] eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of my hand."
It is for this reason that I am once again conflicted on this issue, because I believe that Arminianism is closer to correct view of salvation, and yet as I read scripture I cannot accept that salvation is a conditional thing that can be taken from us. Perhaps one day this will become more clear to me (I very seriously doubt that, but we are called to have faith). Until then I will continue to read about these difficult issues and despite everyone's efforts to tell me that you have to choose a side of these arguments, I will most likely continue to try and put at least one foot in the very little middle ground there is in between the issues, if only just to aggravate those other scholars around me...

Grace and Peace

William Allen Nelson