The rambling writer

So I'm writing again. I'm not sure why. God hasn't really given me anything to say and I quite frankly don't feel led to say something profound and I don't know that I could be profound right now if I even tried. I don't know why I'm writing. I wish I could bring you a message of hope. Of peace. Of boldness. I wish I could enlighten you with words that have been given to me by the one that we worship. The one that we claim to live our lives for. The one we call King. Yet tonight I don't have one of those messages. I don't have sage words of wisdom for a fallen generation. I don't have a deep philosophical purpose for writing tonight. Honestly, I don't know why I am still typing. Maybe it's out of a sense of duty, maybe a sense of searching. Maybe I just didn't know what else to do with how I'm feeling right now. I have no idea why I'm writing. I have no idea why I feel the way that I feel. I don't always have the answers to bring to the people through this medium. Maybe that's why I'm writing this. Because for once, the fact that I don't know the answers, is ok with me.

The Other Son

There are times in our lives when we examine our surroundings and make certain determinations about ourselves. As a pastor these times have become more and more frequent, as each time I delve into the scriptures to prepare another sermon I must make certain evaluations about them, their relation to my life, and how the members of my congregation will relate to them as well. This past week one of these times arose while I was reading in the book of Luke. Jesus offers up a parable to the people concerning a man and his two sons. After a time the younger son asks for his share of the inheritance in order that he might go off on his own. The father then divides the inheritance among his sons and the younger son travels to a distant land where he begins to fulfill his young heart's desires with all the pleasure that his new found wealth can bring. Before long, the land in which he is enjoying himself becomes ravaged by a great famine and the young man is left without food or shelter. The only means with which he can sustain himself is to feed a citizen's pigs. The young man has reached such a bottomed out point that he longs to eat the food that he brings to the pigs each day. At this point the young man comes to the realization that he could live a much better life if he became one of his father's slaves rather than continue to feed the pigs in a foreign land. The young man heads back home with the intention of begging his father for forgiveness and asking to be made one of his slaves. However when the son returns home and his father sees him walking down the path towards their home, the father runs to his son and wraps him in his arms. The father then calls for his servants bring the finest clothes and sandals and place them on his son, and to prepare the fattest calf for a feast for his son. What madness is this? The son never expected to be treated so. He came back with the intention of being made a slave and instead he is being treated as returning royalty. Upon hearing the commotion the older son ask the servants what is going on and is infuriated when he finds out that the father is throwing a feast for the younger son. The older son skulks off in disappointment like any good older brother would and the father comes searching for him. The son relates to the father his frustrations that the son who squandered his share of the inheritance is being celebrated while he the faithful son is not. The father tells his son that all that he has is his because he has been with him all along, but that the younger son has to be celebrated because he was lost and is now found, he was dead and he is now alive again. I talked before about how we have to make certain determinations about ourselves. This time the determination wasn't about me per se, but rather about a large majority of believers in general. You see every time the story of the prodigal son has been preached that I have heard, every preacher, pastor, teacher, and deacon has addressed the issue of a child running off and acting crazy, destroying their life day by day, minute by minute, until they have reached rock bottom and dug down another six feet, and about how God still welcomes them back with open arms because he is their Father and they are His children. And that is a wonderful message, and I am extremely glad that people feel led to preach that message because it is a message with an attachment of grace that needs to reach the people's ears and hearts. But as I went through this time of reflection prior to preaching this story this past Sunday, I made a realization. That realization is that there is a message in this parable that isn't preached. You see there are two children in this parable of forgiveness. You see the realization that I came to is that there are many people in this world who are the younger son who is welcomed home by the Father. Yet there are a whole lot of people in this world who are the older son. You see there are so many of us who are not content with all that we have. And the point of this story is that the thing we are not content with is everything. You see all that we have that we are not content with is the entire kingdom of heaven. An inheritance from the almighty creator of heaven and earth. We are already heirs to the throne of the savior, and yet we continue to skulk about as if we have been mistreated. Wake up, world! So often I see believers who wallow in self pity because they see God working in the lives of others and they have the audacity to complain about it. Wake up, you are already an heir to the kingdom! Let God work how He will work. You have already gained the inheritance, allow others to do the same. I've been talking for several weeks now about revival in this land, and in order for that revival to take place, the heirs to the kingdom must be willing to celebrate the return of the prodigals to the throne. Because you see that's the whole point. Revival. Restoration of life. Those that were dead, alive again.

Civility is not a sign of weakness

In the current climate of today's world I believe that it is in the greatest interest of the people that we work together in order to improve the well being of all. As a child of God I believe that we as followers of Jesus should be the ones who lead that charge in the world. For far too long now followers of Jesus have been linked exclusively to political conservatism and the Republican party. The beautiful thing about being a follower of Christ is that we are all diverse. It is time that we regain our independence from political alignments. If you feel that democratic ideals are closer to your outlook on life, by all means vote so. Regardless of the way politics have been played in the past 20 years, the Republican party is not the Christian party. Christians do not have a party because Christianity is not a political lobbying group, it is a way of life. Unfortunately during my lifetime we have seen what can happen when people feel that they know what the "Christian way" is. We have seen people set bombs in front of abortion clinics killing innocents mothers, we've African Americans drug behind moving vehicles until their bodies are unrecognizable, and young gay men beaten and hung from a barb wire fence and left to bleed to death, with a large majority of these being done under the auspice of being the morally right thing to do, because being gay or getting an abortion is against God's will. Apparently they missed the part about loving their neighbor and the whole thou shalt not murder thing. Probably wasn't listed in the chemistry set directions on how to make a pipe bomb. My point is this... We as Christians need to be the champions of change, not be tied to the anchor of overbloated Republican politics. Instead of throwing out ridiculous accusations of the religious affiliations of our president, we should be working with him in order to help build a more perfect union. We should learn that to be civil does not make us weak. In actuality that civility will be what will save us. There is a time to fight and a time to make peace. We are embroiled in a spiritual war but we are losing it everyday that we fling stones in the glass house of our own making. Christians have become the biggest hippocrites in the world, lambasting all those around us for the splinter in their eye while we look at them through the forest in ours. It's time that we stop fighting the unnecessary battle in order that we do not lose the war that is vital to our life. Put down the bombs, put away the ropes, chains, guns, brass knuckles, and the instruments of hippocritical hate and realize that only when we become a civil people again will we be able to enact the change we cry out for. You see, John F Kennedy said that civility is not a sign of weakness, and in a relatively short time after that someone killed him. For all I know, there may be some who react just as violently to what I have said here. But the fact of the matter is that it is time for Christians to face the fact that we can no longer enact the change we supposedly seek simply be proclaiming that we are Chrisitians. We need action, we need purpose, we need civility. Not as a sign of ceding power to those that we are in disagreement with, but as a sign that we are truly what God has called us to be... A people who will embrace those less fortunate, who will clothe the naked, feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, and will be a light in dark corners. For we have been called by name by the name who is above every name, to follow Him, whatever the price. And at this time, the price is being willing to stand along side those around us, regardless of political or social status, and realize that our country needs a change. And we are the instrument.

Back from the Dead

It seems like so long since I've written here. Probably because it has been several months. I can hardly believe that my last entry was written in March. My how things have changed since then. But the changes since March are nothing compared to the change over the last 5 days. The people around me had best be praying and preparing themselves right now, because there is a mighty thing coming their way. God spoke truth into my life tonight and there is so much more coming. For the first time I feel the true Spirit of God within my chest, like a real fire burning and I'm ready to feed it. The time has come for us to embrace what we were called for and it starts right now. This evening I experienced a full on God attack and met with him in such a mighty, mighty way. I hope that you are all ready to experience God because He's about to move in this place. The fire I feel in my chest can't be contained and there is nowhere for it to go but out. For so long I've felt spiritually dead and the adversary has told me that I'm not worthy to carry the torch of the Lord but the devil is a lie! Those things that come from him cannot bear truth for he is chief among the deceivers! For the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I am content with who I am because I know that I am a child in Christ! The enemy shall fall because I will proceed forward in His righteousness, in His Spirit, and His truth. I will do justly, I will love kindness, and I will walk humbly with my Lord for He is my shield. I proclaim with loudest voice His promise that His word will not return void!! Truett, Waco, Texas, maybe even this whole country, you had best pray, because I have set my eyes upon the mark that I press on towards and that is to make His name made known. On this night I proclaim that I am back from the dead and the first order of business is reviving the spiritually defunct in the city of Waco. Revival is coming!!!

Father You're the One

This may seem kinda weird coming from me but um, this is basically a rap song that I just wrote. Enjoy.

VERSE 1
2:06 am
Thoughts running through my head again
Thinking bout all the times I keep failing Him.
But then I'm reminded that I'm not the first
And my thoughts move toward His people wandring in the dirt
It's seems it's in our blood to complain and gripe
To spout our own name and believe our own hype
You see God made us from the dirt not to be worthless
But the real reason that we're here is to serve His purpose
so as I lay here and think about the wrong I've done
It soon occurs to me

CHORUS
Father You're the only one
Who can take this life
Conform it to Your will
And make this right
Father You're the only one
And on this night
I give it all to You
So you can make this right
Cuz you're the only one

VERSE 2
2:18 am
Thoughts still spinning all around my head
This time it's all about the ones who gave their lives
The ones that paid the final price just follow Christ
You see sometimes in this life we're pulling at loose strings
Like when our names spelt wrong on our shirts and things
but while we're here complaining about our convenience
There's people round the world dying for proclaiming Jesus
So as I lay here and think about the work that's still to be done
The thought reoccurs to me

CHORUS
That Father You're the only one
Who can take this life
Conform it to Your will
And make this right
Father You're the only one
And on this night
I give it all to You
So you can make this right
Cuz you're the only one

SPOKEN WORD OUTRO
In this life, sometimes we only get one chance. To do something worthwhile for our God. To go out in service to Him. To give our lives for the throne. But only Jesus can make this life worth more. You're the only one Father God. We give it all to You. World without end. Amen.

Can Anybody Hear Me?

I hesitated to write
what I really wanted to say
but the words that come from my mouth
go right past your ears anyway

You say you can't help it
the fact that you feel that way
he's gonna be different this time around
I don't really care what they say

I admire your optimism
in spite of all events that transpire
but you have to learn that leopard's don't change their spots
no matter what your heart may desire

I hope you know you're not the first
nor will you be the last to bare your soul to me
I wish that one day you all could understand
what you're infatuation has made you blind to see

I thought about not speaking out
about just letting this one slide
but I wasn't sure that I could live with the guilt
live with the thought that I never really tried

So I cried out in protest to you
to try and make you understand
but still you chose to spend your time
with the one that you wanted to give your hand

I grow so tired of screaming
of having my voice lost in the noise
to see so many struggle aimlessly
all for the affection of certain boys

There's something more for you out there
something that I hope that one day you shall see
for you are not here just for selfish pleasure
you were created to be royalty...

But still you all stress and strive
all for the attention of one of us
most of whom only want one thing
"I'm gonna get this girl in my bed or bust!"

I really wish I could tell you
that things aren't really like that you see
but the more I look around my life
that idea is spread around like some disease

So let me scream out again
to those who are made like me
show a little respect for once in your life
God gave women to be more than just property

You see we're called to love them
as Christ loved the church
the last time I checked we weren't doing that very well
because I don't remember Christ treating his people like dirt

So cherish those who you are lucky enough to have
and if you don't think it's meant to be don't lead them along
it's hard enough for some to find love in this world
without you serenading with your cheesy love songs

So as I send this out to the world
I pray with all of my might
that my words would not fall on deaf ears
and that someone would hear me tonight

Am I ok?

Am I ok?
It's such a loaded question.
Can I be ok when the world around me attacks?
When the ones that should build me up teat me down?
Am I ok?
But what does ok really mean anyway?
I'm here aren't I? Isn't that enough?
Do I have to be more than just here?
Can I not just relish in the fact that I'm here for one more day?
I say to you today no!
I can't be complacent one more day.
I can't be complacent another second.
If a day is truly like a 1000 in Your kingdom, then I've wasted generations in my complacency.
Am I ok?
I can't be ok anymore.
Ok is gone for me, from this day on. You have made me more than ok.
You have made me more than what I see in myself.
You have made me to be Yours.
Am I ok?
No longer can I be that way
Oh Lord, I pray.

Together as one

as I sit in nokia theatre I can't help but be amazed by what I see. Black and white, sick and healthy, young and old, the downtrodden and the blessed. All coming together in the name of the one that we have the audacity to call father. The same God who tore open the heavens to declare his pleasure in the one who came from Him, we come to as if He is simply another person in our life. But when I think about, that is the way that God created us to act towards Him. We are nothing, and yet God has called us His own. He has called us his children. He has called us His friend. And as I worship with my family in Christ around me, I can't help but feel weighed down by the fact that we proclaim to be one body when the situation fits our needs, such as here in dallas on this night. Yet we go to our church and we go to our school and we set up our boundaries. It's time the walls come down. It's time that we embrace G3. It's time to become 1.

Emptiness

As I walk through another day
pondering all the uncertainty that still clouds my way
I cry out for help from God
to again make straight this crooked way
to give me enough light for yet another day

"Why aren't you listening to me?
Why can't I hear you speak?
Are we really just going at this alone?
If you're still there why don't you speak?
Why can't you just let me know that you still hear me?"

I know I'm here for something more
to do more than just check my emotions at the door
For the present time I will wait for your plan to be revealed
I'll continue to walk your path through the open door
and pray that at the proper time you will lead me into something more

"My child why do you continue to worry?
You know so well that I've never left you.
All your life I have been right by your side.
For all your life I shall never leave you?
So why in this moment do you continue to worry?"

"Things are different this time, can't you see?
I've gone all my life and even now there is only me.
I know that you created us to be relational beings,
so why in the world is it still just me?
is there something wrong with me that I just can't see?"

"My child, My child, of course there is nothing wrong.
for I created all the world that you can see
and the most delicate balance between death and life
surely through my revelation you must now see
that from Me there can come nothing that is made wrong?"

"I tell you now my child, your time will come.
I am preparing you both even now to be one
to be the man and woman that I have raised up to carry my Word
when I am finished with you both, you shall be one.
Until then please by patient, your time has not yet come."

"My God, my God, forsake me not for my doubt!
I'm just truly scared to continue to live without.
I know that there is one out there that you have for me.
And I know that you have not created me to be left out.
Please God up above remove from me this doubt."

So until that moment comes I'll wait
on pins and needles until that coming day
when the one that is out there for me is brought into sight
when finally reach that slowly coming day
the emptiness I feel will finally go away: I can't hardly wait.

The Power of One

Last night we had our third community worship service which was held at the apartment of Omari Head and Erik Robinson. Each time that we have gathered we have increased in number, a visual confirmation of what each of us has felt God calling us to enact in Waco and in Truett Seminary.

In the past week we have bear witness to some incredibly amazing things in the lives of our fellow seminary students. Two of our students were involved in a car wreck and escaped almost completely unscathed, and another student's mother who has been severely sick and hospitalized was healed completely and walked out of the hospital doors under her own power. I myself have seen the power of Christ recently in being called to be the pastor of a small church in Coryell county.

These things that we have seen are a testimony to the power of Christ in our lives and the power of prayer that we have been granted. We as a group friends, nay as a family have made the choice to not be content with "making mud pies in the slums" but rather that we will press on towards something more, so that we might bring a revival amongst our school and our town.

We will no longer sit idly by and wait for the things to come.

Through Christ, we are stronger. We are passionate. We are convicted.

We are the Eklektos, and through Christ, we are ONE.

Time for a Change

I can't hardly believe that it has been over 2 months since I put fingers to keys and brought my thoughts to the world wide web. In a way, that 2 months has been the most eventful of my short life. Since last writing I have been hired as the pastor of Pearl Baptist Church, as well fallen in love with the scriptures that we call the Bible. These scriptures have always been a part of my life, but at this point in my life they have begun to speak to me in ways that I never thought would be possible with any written medium.

I had a conversation with a buddy of mine at Truett this morning where he told me that he appreciated my stories that I had written and that I was a good writer, so I guess you might say that he has convicted me that I need to write on my blog more often.

I brought to the attention of my covenant group this morning that I needed for something to change. As I told them this morning, I don't really know what it is, but something in my life right now just isn't right. I'm where I know that God has called me to be in school, I have more friends than I've ever had at one point in time, and I have been called to pastor a church where I am quickly falling in love with the people that I minister to, and yet something feels like it is missing. All I can do for now is pray that God would reveal this thing to me. Something needs to change. Maybe it is me, or maybe it's those around me, but I need something different.

I wish I could explain what that something was so that maybe I could try and find it, but until it is revealed to me by God, I will just have to continue on the path that has been revealed. So if you've been thinking of me recently, for whatever reason, don't just dismiss it. Pray for me, and I'll do the same for you when you come upon my mind. It's time for a change, and prayer is a great place to start when something needs to change.

Grace and Peace

William Allen Nelson